What does make a man a gentleman?
The ‘perfect gentleman’ is a much-lauded phrase, and a hallowed aspirational status. Trends come and go — as do some friends and some lovers — but one thing remains constant: the notion that men should aspire to be gentlemen.
But we live in an increasingly troubled, confusing and modern world, which makes the concept of being a gentleman somewhat bewildering. It begs the question: what does being a gentleman actually mean?
How do you define a ‘gentleman’?
Simply put: you can’t. Not definitively, anyway. Instead, there are certain characteristics and traits that you should aim to embody in order to become the decent, debonair gentleman.
Brace yourself, gents: hard truths await. Below, you’ll find some of the most important things that make a man a gentleman, or at least some hints from me as a wedding planner, what could help to become one.
courtesy of your quote.in
A gentleman never tells
No gossiping. No spreading of scandalous rumours, or of speaking ill of others. A real gentleman always protects the integrity of both himself and those around him — so that means embodying the utmost discretion, and keeping any affairs or confrontations a tight-lipped secret. Nobody likes a bad-mouth.
A gentleman knows that anything worth having is worth working hard for
Shortcuts, free rides, those tiny samples of aftershave that come stuck to pages of magazines – these have no place in a gentleman’s world. Work for your luxuries, and your achievements will taste even sweeter. A gentleman knows that you only get what you give: and rightly so.
A gentleman knows how to dance
Not too much — no-one likes to see a grown man moonwalking at a family wedding. (we've seen a lot as international wedding planner) Instead, you need just enough footwork to ensure you can confidently hold the floor. Romantic dances, too, are worth a gentleman’s attention. Master even the simplest steps, and you’ll be one up from the man on the street. As a wedding planner for Europe and beyond, we do also know about the dances you should master in case the day comes.
Pulp Fiction Dance Scene Vincent Vega & Mia Wallace
pic by John F. Stephenson/Getty Images / Waterloo Station London
A gentleman helps anyone with their baggage
When a gentleman spots another person — man, woman, young, elderly — struggling with something heavy, they help them with it. It could be in an airport, a train station, or the stairwell in your building; wherever. Just drop whatever you’re doing (and whatever you’re holding) and ask them if they want some assistance. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.
A gentleman always RSVPs
You should never, ever leave your nearest and dearest hanging. Reply promptly, whether it’s a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. A ‘I’ll have to check what I’m doing that day’ just doesn’t cut it. If someone has been good enough to invite you, a gentleman would always be courteous enough to reply. Oh, and if you canmake it, be sure to bring the party when you arrive…
Check out some etiquette rules I've put together I've put together as wedding planner with international knowledge.
A gentleman knows the difference between confidence and arrogance
Arrogance: President Trump barrelling into his election without even considering he may lose.
Confidence:James Bond strolling through the front door of a villain’s lair so boldly that no-one even dares to question him. If you want to be a gentleman: be like Bond.
Kremsmünster Abbey Austria
A gentleman is open-minded
Sharp wit can win any argument; but an intelligent gentleman knows the benefits of listening to the views of others. He is never stubborn and is always prepared to learn, in order to develop and broaden his world view. And this applies across the board — from olives (always delicious) especially at a Tuscany wedding to unchecked market deregulation (sketchy at best).
Queen & Knight
A gentleman constantly proves that chivalry is not dead
Because it isn’t — especially if a gentleman looks in the right places. It may be different to antiquated ideas of chivalry, but the concept is still very much alive and kicking. Essentially, chivalry can be chalked up to good manners, empathy, and the capacity to forgive.
A gentleman should go out of his way to ensure he never makes anyone cry
Unless it’s tears of happiness from that vintage Jaguar you surprised your partner with for your anniversary. (See also: chopping onions.)
Charles M. Schulz Peanuts & Friends